AliExpress monstrosities

For guitars of the straight waisted variety (or reverse offset).
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LVC
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AliExpress monstrosities

Post by LVC » Thu Sep 29, 2022 2:37 pm

One of my guilty pleasures is browsing the incredible number of guitars for sale on AliExpress. Not that I'd be foolhardy enough to order one, but I find that quite entertaining.

Most of those are boring Strat, LP or Tele copies. You also get some less common models ― the offsets are particularly bad.

And, occasionally, something... unusual pops up. Sometimes it's something surprisingly nice-looking and inspiring. Sometimes it's something that would earn Dr Moreau a Designer of the Century award in comparison.

This thread is dedicated to those abominations.




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...more to come.
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marqueemoon
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by marqueemoon » Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:12 pm

Not gonna lie. I kinda love that.

But yeah there’s some real weird shit on there that makes you wonder if anyone involved actually plays guitar.

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LVC
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by LVC » Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:46 pm

marqueemoon wrote:
Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:12 pm
But yeah there’s some real weird shit on there that makes you wonder if anyone involved actually plays guitar.
...like this?

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marqueemoon
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by marqueemoon » Thu Sep 29, 2022 4:35 pm

A+ Photoshop work. :D

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Embenny
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by Embenny » Thu Sep 29, 2022 5:24 pm

marqueemoon wrote:
Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:12 pm
Not gonna lie. I kinda love that.
I want to call it the Mathmaster. Or Jazzmathter.
The artist formerly known as mbene085.

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Futuron
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by Futuron » Thu Sep 29, 2022 11:41 pm

That's a Ja8uar. And I actually like it a little bit. Sideways neck plate is quite funny.



That bigsby though... :D :D

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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by LVC » Fri Sep 30, 2022 1:36 am

mbene085 wrote:
Thu Sep 29, 2022 5:24 pm
I want to call it the Mathmaster. Or Jazzmathter.
Sheesh, it's obviously a Mathguar. :D

The mirrored acrylic control plates ― the tell-tale sign of lowest-tier Chinese made offsets ― are really awful on that one.




Next up... Something for Mushroomhead or Lordi maybe?

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Salfaromeab
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by Salfaromeab » Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:59 am

The control layout on AliExpress Mosrite knockoffs always baffles me.

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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by luau » Fri Sep 30, 2022 6:14 am


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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by s_mcsleazy » Sat Oct 01, 2022 7:37 am

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there was an attempt
offset guitars resident bass player.
'Are you trying to seduce me Mrs Robinson? Or do you just want me to solder a couple of resistors into your Muff?'

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MattK
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by MattK » Sat Oct 01, 2022 2:13 pm

Control plate not quite right? Pro tip: just paint the edges with the body colour, it'll work out fine.

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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by CharlieHunterFan » Sat Oct 01, 2022 8:53 pm

This thread is the best. I am laughing out loud. I would also play that 8 string jazzmaster.

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LVC
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by LVC » Sun Oct 02, 2022 2:24 pm

Oh, I've just remembered one I saw a long time ago on AliExpress. You're going to have to take my word for it, because it looks like it's been pulled since ― thankfully.

It was a guitar shaped like a Swastika ― definitely not a Hindu one, as it was painted in the colors of the German flag. I shit you not. :fp:

EDIT: found a pic floating the web. As far as I can remember that's the one I saw.

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Hmmm... It's a counterclockwise Swastika, but still.
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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by Veitchy » Mon Oct 03, 2022 4:15 am

This thread is already sliced gold.
LVC wrote:
Thu Sep 29, 2022 2:37 pm
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As someone who came of age in the 2000s I saw far too may guitars like this sincerely marketed by large manufacturers. I'm numb to this.
LVC wrote:
Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:46 pm
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For sure. That's what that hole in Trigger is from. Willie Nelson should have used a Vibramate and protected his investment.
Salfaromeab wrote:
Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:59 am
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Sucked in if you like to swell your volume or tone controls.

Although you could do both at the same time :shifty:

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Re: AliExpress monstrosities

Post by LVC » Mon Oct 03, 2022 4:36 pm

Question: you want to manufacture an Electric XII knockoff, but you can't find a source for cheap repros of the original pickups. What do you do?






















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What? They're split pickups aren't they?

:D
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