Thanks, everyone, for weighing in. I decided to go the "sand and Tru Oil" route. I posted the stuff below in another forum, and frankly, don't have the energy today to retype another version. May the internet gods forgive me for copying and pasting.
Also, after all my talk about how "rock and roll" it was to toss my guitar across the stage, finding out that I only rose to the level of "general cat mischief" really made it feel less rock-tastic.
Ever since I made the mistake of telling my wife/drummer that a cat knocking over a Jazzmaster had the same effect my cut-rate Pete Townsend routine did, she's taken to calling me "Pussycat" at practice.
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I tried 600, then 400, but even 20-30 min of work wasn't enough to barely scuff it. It must be the half inch of candy coating on these Squier Vintage Modified necks. I went as low as 120 at one point, and as soon as I got some progress, I stepped down to 400, then 600, then the two finest micromesh. It was glinting in the sun by the time I was done, just the raw wood. The sanding took two and a half hours and even with a mask on, that dust felt reeeeeallly toxic, even with an open window and a vacuum
There are a few visible sanding lines from the coarse paper near the headstock and neck heel I somehow missed in the light, as well as a little poly spot I missed that now looks like a pee stain near the bottom of the heel. But it's a punk rock player guitar, I'm not too worried about it. I needed it functional and protected, I don't care too much about a little blemish. Taking off the finish really reveals how much neck tint there is on these things.
A gloved finger, barely dipped in Tru Oil, scraped off, spread around as thin as I could get it. 3 dips/drops per application in the morning. A cloth buffing and gentle micromesh wipe in the afternoon, and an hour in direct sun from 2-3 pm. The sun time softened the oil a bit, I think, so I'd take the opportunity to gently buff with a dry cloth.
I was reading some people suggest that you apply 15 coats, but with the micromesh pads and 3 coats, it's already glassy and feels like the best parts of my well-used 2008 AVRI Jazzmaster neck. Much more glossy than I expected.
Now I'm just going to wait a week or two with occasional gentle buffing and a micromesh wipe at the end, and this thing should be back in action by early September.
