Personification of Offsets

Discussion of newer designs, copies and reissue offset-waist instruments.
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StevenO
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Personification of Offsets

Post by StevenO » Sun Mar 04, 2007 12:48 pm

Add human characteristics to your favorite offsets.

I've always found that a nice clean jazzmaster sounds cute. If you listen to the new wilco cd, the guitar and the guitar playing sounds cute, in my opinion.

I know Jonas did some really neat comparisons with the jag and the jazzmaster in relation to women.

Your turn!

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by IPLAYLOUD » Sun Mar 04, 2007 6:06 pm

My  '69 Competition Mustang is like a little kid wanting to play.
When I open the case and it  yells "Plug me in, plug me in...I wanna play...I wanna play LOUD, Daddy...LISTEN TO ME...LISTEN TO WHAT I CAN DO!!!!!"
Competition Stripes make them play FASTER.

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Felix » Sun Mar 04, 2007 7:19 pm

Cute is definitely a good way to characterize a JM.

I have always found the JM to be a very classy, and also very sexy, sleek guitar. The JM is the best looking model on the runway. Don't read too far into that...  :-[
If you were at a party, the JM is by far the most popular person there. Intriguing, sophisticated and sexy in a classy way. The Jag is bling bling. The JM is initellectually appealing.

:-* at first sight.
"That's just Dorian"
- Dr. Cox

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by StevenO » Sun Mar 04, 2007 7:51 pm

Felix wrote: If you were at a party, the JM is by far the most popular person there. Intriguing, sophisticated and sexy in a classy way. The Jag is bling bling. The JM is initellectually appealing.

:-* at first sight.

No way! The strat and the les paul are the most popular ones there. The jazzmaster is the guy who just shows up, stands around leaning up against the wall, enjoying the music with a drink it it's hand, joking around with the XII, VI, Jazz bass and his girlfriend, the Jaguar. The Tele is the one that is really popular but prefers to stay out of the limelight sometimes, and just likes to relax with the offsets every now and then.

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Mad-Mike » Sun Mar 04, 2007 8:16 pm

Cool thread

In my last band, we all kinda belived that all guitars were inherently female, lol.  Anyway, here's my flock....

- Jag-Stang - I'd say shed' be about 5'4, really skinny, fluffy blue pigtails, wearing very girly looking clothes but acting kinda like Vyvian The Punk's (you know, from "The Young One's" Britcom) even raunchier and insane sister.  Hangs out with Warlocks, Rhoads Vees, Zakk Wylde Signature Les Pauls, and Deans, sings like Lita Ford, and kinda exhiled by her other sisters for being a black sheep of the Jag-Stang family.

At a party, the Jag-Stang would probably be whining about "cliche blues music" and wanting something that rocks harder, finally going off to some 80's club to listen to a couple copied EVH Frankenstrats play a set of tunes off of 5150, and would probably invite her up to play SUmmer Nights when the STeinberger ain't around.

- Jaguar - Looks like Betti Page, very classy,  likes to drink coffee and watch the sun set, and is kinda reclusive, likes the more etherial types of music too.  Probably lives in a high story apartment decorated in lots of "retro" stuff with modern functionality.  Seen at a Party, she'd probably be found  hanging out alone at first, though probably pick up a couple other modified Jaguars and a Jazzmaster or two for company later on once they all get irritated with some uppity Les Paul being a jerk about her fame. Hangs out with the Jag-Stang at Family reunions, but wishes she'd get over her "metal phase". Get's angry and gets a buzz when she does'nt get enough musical attention.

- Jagmaster - The new one in town, does'nt really have a "place" in the group yet, would look kinda like Cheyrl Crow or Alanis Morisette, but dressed in Grunge garb.  Hangs out with the Jaguar most of the time, sometimes with the Stang, but does not take either of em' too seriously.  Huge Nirvana fan for sure, and would be found at the party hanging with a Kurtified Jaguar, a stock Jag-Stang, and a couple other Jagmasters, and a SUper Sonic, when not trying to get in on some sort of punk rock set.
Last edited by Mad-Mike on Sun Mar 04, 2007 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Pumpkin » Sun Mar 04, 2007 8:27 pm

My Jaguar is the ballroom dancer thats had to much to drink,Loud but elegant.
My Mustang is like the school bully,loud gutsy and violent as hell,He'll walk over any one!

He's probly a bully cause i call him Daphne :D

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by 1946dodge » Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:03 pm

My Jaguar is a small sleek wild  cat.
My Jazzmaster is a slightly larger  Jazzy cat.
And of course the Jag baritones are Big Cats, one with a coat of gold, brown and red, and the other is a big black cat.
They are more like animals-  exotic animals than human.

Their sex is most likely female, although it doesn't matter,  really...

Because these guitars are different from the crowd, they are special. Not everyone appreciates or knows the power and beauty they hold within and it takes a special person to recognize this and alot of study and work to  coax  their greatness.
They are not for everyone and that is alright with me.
A  man studies and learns all of his  life, and  attains wisdom only when he finds that  he knows much and understands nothing.

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by mynameisjonas » Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:54 am

as i said in that other thread, to me jazzmasters are like haute couture models (male or female); their beauty is complex and not always entirely obvious, yet it instantly grabs your attention and fascination.
jaguars would be the slightly shorter, and more accessibly good looking sister/brother of the jazzmaster.

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Felix » Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:02 pm

StevenO wrote:
Felix wrote: If you were at a party, the JM is by far the most popular person there. Intriguing, sophisticated and sexy in a classy way. The Jag is bling bling. The JM is initellectually appealing.

:-* at first sight.

No way! The strat and the les paul are the most popular ones there. The jazzmaster is the guy who just shows up, stands around leaning up against the wall, enjoying the music with a drink it it's hand, joking around with the XII, VI, Jazz bass and his girlfriend, the Jaguar. The Tele is the one that is really popular but prefers to stay out of the limelight sometimes, and just likes to relax with the offsets every now and then.
Maybe at your parties!  >:(

Just kidding. That's a good point. You mean, he or she will just show up with the mixed drink/Heineken in hand and admire the crowd from a distance?
I like that. :)
"That's just Dorian"
- Dr. Cox

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Sauerkraut » Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:05 pm

Felix wrote:
StevenO wrote:
Felix wrote: If you were at a party, the JM is by far the most popular person there. Intriguing, sophisticated and sexy in a classy way. The Jag is bling bling. The JM is initellectually appealing.

:-* at first sight.

No way! The strat and the les paul are the most popular ones there. The jazzmaster is the guy who just shows up, stands around leaning up against the wall, enjoying the music with a drink it it's hand, joking around with the XII, VI, Jazz bass and his girlfriend, the Jaguar. The Tele is the one that is really popular but prefers to stay out of the limelight sometimes, and just likes to relax with the offsets every now and then.
Maybe at your parties!  >:(

Just kidding. That's a good point. You mean, he or she will just show up with the mixed drink/Heineken in hand and admire the crowd from a distance?
I like that. :)
Heineken?! How in God's name is that cool?

???
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world? - Stephen Fry

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by idiotbear » Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:17 pm

My Jaguar's like Begbie from Trainspotting....

Image

Short, loud & belligerent, and occasionally unintelligible to the uninitiated.  :D

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Sauerkraut » Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:23 pm

idiotbear wrote: My Jaguar's like Begbie from Trainspotting....

Image

Short, loud & belligerent, and occasionally unintelligible to the uninitiated.  :D
that sums up my Squier Strat, it's loud and aggressive, but not very articulated
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world? - Stephen Fry

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Firefly » Mon Mar 05, 2007 3:26 pm

ok now I am scared, lol

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Felix » Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:42 pm

Sauerkraut wrote:
Felix wrote:
StevenO wrote: No way! The strat and the les paul are the most popular ones there. The jazzmaster is the guy who just shows up, stands around leaning up against the wall, enjoying the music with a drink it it's hand, joking around with the XII, VI, Jazz bass and his girlfriend, the Jaguar. The Tele is the one that is really popular but prefers to stay out of the limelight sometimes, and just likes to relax with the offsets every now and then.
Maybe at your parties!  >:(

Just kidding. That's a good point. You mean, he or she will just show up with the mixed drink/Heineken in hand and admire the crowd from a distance?
I like that. :)
Heineken?! How in God's name is that cool?

???
Great, now I have a complex about drinking beer.  :(
"That's just Dorian"
- Dr. Cox

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Re: Personification of Offsets

Post by Mr M » Tue Mar 06, 2007 8:27 am

My Jazzmaster was Named Fred by the Previous owner. Fred was strung Lefty and played upside down. Before Fred was even given his name, he was on tour up and down the East Coast with Antic Hay, on tour with Echo and the Bunnymen. Fred  is not cute, He doesn't look it, He Doesn't sound it, Fred has had many surgeries. He's Like an old Vet who's been Injuried in the Line of Fire, and recieved the Purple Heart. If Fred was a person he'd scare your childeren.

here is Fred

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y87/li ... to/dg3.jpg
Last edited by Mr M on Tue Mar 06, 2007 8:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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