your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments
Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:23 am
I don't know whether this thread will take off, but the title is from a comment made by Mez.
And what I mean by this title/thread is to see if we can get some light hearted comical moments where your comments/opinions about some music or musician was taken the wrong way or your were forced to endure utter torture at the hand of some club DJ. I'll give you some examples but please remember this is not a thread to bag musicians or genres or songs, but to show how sometimes the non-musical public can be a pain in the arse....
1. Couple of years back I was recording a band I know live at a venue. It was a small club and the drummer had decided not to mic up the kit, bass and guitars were set on about 4, sax a bit higher. A quarter the way through the first set a woman comes literally bounding over to the manager of the club, near where I had my equipment and near the kitchen area. She was threatening all hell, saying that she had some important client that she was trying to impress and how dare they have such loud raucous music (it actually wasn't that load) Eventually the club owner was called and asked the woman what she wanted him to do. She demanded that the drummer turn down his volume. When she was told the drum kit was not mic'd up, she went into a frenzy headed for the mixing board and turned every one down bar (obviously) the drummer. Not one of the best gigs I have managed to capture on tape !!!
2. Sixteen years ago while staying with a female friend in HK, whom I had got very close to, we had an evening out and after dinner we headed back to her apartment for coffee and some (Chinese) TV). To cut a long story short, she put on a new CD she had just bought that day . A live Kenny G CD, as soon as I heard the opening sax I knew who it was but I kept my mouth shut. After enduring this crap muzak for about 30 minutes, the lady suddenly bursts into tears. I try and console her, asking her what is the matter? She tells me nothing that I have done , but rather that this music is so depressing it makes her cry just listening to it (and cry , I don't mean in a good way). To be blunt I struck out that evening and have hated Kenny G (with a passion) ever since.
3. Five or six years back, I am having to attend the second wedding of an old friend. I take my current girl friend of about 8 months along. The wedding is a complete bore, as most weddings are. Then the wedding singer comes on. Me I haven't been to too many wedding, try and get out of them, but I had not been to any which had had a "wedding singer". This woman came out did a few numbers and then attempts the Whitney Houston number which I think is called "I will always love you" (the one from the movie Bodyguard with that cardboard actor Kevin Costner).
Yeah Whitney Houston can hit the high notes, but this damn wedding singer couldn't. As soon as she goes any where near the high notes, she started the worst attempt at vibrato you have ever heard (like what those idiots try and do on the “IDOL” TV programme) Not once did she hit the correct high notes and the band behind her were so embarrassed. She then did another 3 songs, the bride and groom leave for their night of sex and my girlfriend and I headed home.
I made the mistake of replying to a comment the GF said. She commented on how great the wedding was and how good the singer was. I said words to the effect of “she has to be the second worst singer I have ever had to endure and I am yet to hear the worst ever singer in the world”. That was a bad move. I was then blasted all the way home (the longest 30 miles I have ever driven) with comments about “how dare I make such rude comments” , “what did I know about singing” , “ooo you are so rude” etc etc. 40 minutes later as we are climbing the stairs to her apartment I am still getting my ear torn off about my “ingratitude” and my “lack of understanding” and “the way I embarrassed her “ (even though only she heard the comment)….. I almost said “well fuck off” then and there. I didn’t though, but a year later I did, so maybe I should have gone with my first instinct.
To this day I cannot stand any Whitney Houston track.
4. 20 years ago I am away on a field trip with my manager and a couple of colleagues. We are driving into the “outback” of Australia and we have all brought some cassettes to play. (radio reception is basically zero in the areas we were travelling in). after we had been driving for about 5 hours my manager pulls out a cassette and says “ I have a treat for you boys, the world best pianist” and proceeds to play a cassette by Liberace. I could not contain my disgust or even my utter amazement and said something like “world’s greatest pianist, you got to be fucking joking. He’s got no feel, everything is flowery and its so bad they would even use it for elevator muzak”
At the next major town I was ordered by my manger to get out , rent a hire car and drive back home… I was not to proceed with the field trip. What a fucking joke.
I hate Liberace even more than I did back then.
And what I mean by this title/thread is to see if we can get some light hearted comical moments where your comments/opinions about some music or musician was taken the wrong way or your were forced to endure utter torture at the hand of some club DJ. I'll give you some examples but please remember this is not a thread to bag musicians or genres or songs, but to show how sometimes the non-musical public can be a pain in the arse....
1. Couple of years back I was recording a band I know live at a venue. It was a small club and the drummer had decided not to mic up the kit, bass and guitars were set on about 4, sax a bit higher. A quarter the way through the first set a woman comes literally bounding over to the manager of the club, near where I had my equipment and near the kitchen area. She was threatening all hell, saying that she had some important client that she was trying to impress and how dare they have such loud raucous music (it actually wasn't that load) Eventually the club owner was called and asked the woman what she wanted him to do. She demanded that the drummer turn down his volume. When she was told the drum kit was not mic'd up, she went into a frenzy headed for the mixing board and turned every one down bar (obviously) the drummer. Not one of the best gigs I have managed to capture on tape !!!
2. Sixteen years ago while staying with a female friend in HK, whom I had got very close to, we had an evening out and after dinner we headed back to her apartment for coffee and some (Chinese) TV). To cut a long story short, she put on a new CD she had just bought that day . A live Kenny G CD, as soon as I heard the opening sax I knew who it was but I kept my mouth shut. After enduring this crap muzak for about 30 minutes, the lady suddenly bursts into tears. I try and console her, asking her what is the matter? She tells me nothing that I have done , but rather that this music is so depressing it makes her cry just listening to it (and cry , I don't mean in a good way). To be blunt I struck out that evening and have hated Kenny G (with a passion) ever since.
3. Five or six years back, I am having to attend the second wedding of an old friend. I take my current girl friend of about 8 months along. The wedding is a complete bore, as most weddings are. Then the wedding singer comes on. Me I haven't been to too many wedding, try and get out of them, but I had not been to any which had had a "wedding singer". This woman came out did a few numbers and then attempts the Whitney Houston number which I think is called "I will always love you" (the one from the movie Bodyguard with that cardboard actor Kevin Costner).
Yeah Whitney Houston can hit the high notes, but this damn wedding singer couldn't. As soon as she goes any where near the high notes, she started the worst attempt at vibrato you have ever heard (like what those idiots try and do on the “IDOL” TV programme) Not once did she hit the correct high notes and the band behind her were so embarrassed. She then did another 3 songs, the bride and groom leave for their night of sex and my girlfriend and I headed home.
I made the mistake of replying to a comment the GF said. She commented on how great the wedding was and how good the singer was. I said words to the effect of “she has to be the second worst singer I have ever had to endure and I am yet to hear the worst ever singer in the world”. That was a bad move. I was then blasted all the way home (the longest 30 miles I have ever driven) with comments about “how dare I make such rude comments” , “what did I know about singing” , “ooo you are so rude” etc etc. 40 minutes later as we are climbing the stairs to her apartment I am still getting my ear torn off about my “ingratitude” and my “lack of understanding” and “the way I embarrassed her “ (even though only she heard the comment)….. I almost said “well fuck off” then and there. I didn’t though, but a year later I did, so maybe I should have gone with my first instinct.
To this day I cannot stand any Whitney Houston track.
4. 20 years ago I am away on a field trip with my manager and a couple of colleagues. We are driving into the “outback” of Australia and we have all brought some cassettes to play. (radio reception is basically zero in the areas we were travelling in). after we had been driving for about 5 hours my manager pulls out a cassette and says “ I have a treat for you boys, the world best pianist” and proceeds to play a cassette by Liberace. I could not contain my disgust or even my utter amazement and said something like “world’s greatest pianist, you got to be fucking joking. He’s got no feel, everything is flowery and its so bad they would even use it for elevator muzak”
At the next major town I was ordered by my manger to get out , rent a hire car and drive back home… I was not to proceed with the field trip. What a fucking joke.
I hate Liberace even more than I did back then.