your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

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your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by sookwinder » Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:23 am

I don't know whether this thread will take off, but the title is from a comment made by Mez.

And what I mean by this title/thread is to see if we can get some light hearted comical moments where your comments/opinions about some music or musician was taken the wrong way or your were forced to endure utter torture at the hand of some club DJ.  I'll give you some examples but please remember this is not a thread to bag musicians or genres or songs, but to show how sometimes the non-musical public can be a pain in the arse....

1.  Couple of years back I was recording a band I know live at a venue.  It was a small club and the drummer had decided not to mic up the kit, bass and guitars were set on about 4, sax a bit higher.  A quarter the way through the first set a woman comes literally bounding over to the manager of the club, near where I had my equipment and near the kitchen area.  She was threatening all hell, saying that she had some important client that she was trying to impress and how dare they have such loud raucous music  (it actually wasn't that load) Eventually the club owner was called and asked the woman what she wanted him to do.  She demanded that the drummer turn down his volume. When she was told the drum kit was not mic'd up, she went into a frenzy headed for the mixing board and turned every one down bar (obviously) the drummer.  Not one of the best gigs I have managed to capture on tape !!!

2. Sixteen years ago while staying with a female friend in HK,  whom I had got very close to, we had an evening out and after dinner we headed back to her apartment for coffee and some (Chinese) TV).  To cut a long story short, she put on a new CD she had just bought that day .  A live Kenny G CD,  as soon as I heard the opening sax I knew who it was but I kept my mouth shut. After enduring this crap muzak for about 30 minutes, the lady suddenly bursts into tears.  I try and console her, asking her what is the matter?  She tells me nothing that I have done , but rather that this music is so depressing it makes her cry just listening to it  (and cry , I don't mean in a good way).  To be blunt I struck out that evening and have hated Kenny G (with a passion) ever since.

3. Five or six years back, I am having to attend the second wedding of an old friend.  I take my current girl friend of about 8 months along.  The wedding is a complete bore, as most weddings are.  Then the wedding singer comes on.  Me I haven't been to too many wedding, try and get out of them, but I had not been to any which had had a "wedding singer".  This woman came out did a few numbers and then attempts the Whitney Houston number which I think is called "I will always love you"  (the one from the movie Bodyguard with that cardboard actor Kevin Costner).

Yeah Whitney Houston can hit the high notes, but this damn wedding singer couldn't.  As soon as she goes any where near the high notes, she started the worst attempt at vibrato you have ever heard  (like what those idiots try and do on the “IDOL” TV programme)  Not once did she hit the correct high notes and the band behind her were so embarrassed.  She then did another 3 songs, the bride and groom leave for their night of sex and my girlfriend and I headed home.

I made the mistake of replying to a comment the GF said.  She commented on how great the wedding was and how good the singer was.  I said words to the effect of “she has to be the second worst singer I have ever had to endure and I am yet to hear the worst ever singer in the world”.  That was a bad move.  I was then blasted all the way home (the longest 30 miles I have ever driven) with comments about “how dare I make such rude comments”  , “what did I know about singing” , “ooo you are so rude” etc etc.   40 minutes later as we are climbing the stairs to her apartment I am still getting my ear torn off about my “ingratitude” and my “lack of  understanding” and  “the way I embarrassed her “  (even though only she heard the comment)…..  I almost said “well fuck off”  then and there.  I didn’t though, but a year later I did, so maybe I should have gone with my first instinct.

To this day I cannot stand any Whitney Houston track.

4.   20 years ago I am away on a field trip with my manager and a couple of colleagues.  We are driving into the “outback” of Australia and we have all brought some cassettes to play. (radio reception is basically zero in the areas we were travelling in).  after we had been driving for about 5 hours my manager pulls out a cassette and says “ I have a treat for you boys, the world best pianist”  and proceeds to play a cassette by Liberace.  I could not contain my disgust or even my utter amazement and said something like “world’s greatest pianist, you got to be fucking joking.  He’s got no feel, everything is flowery and its so bad they would even use it for elevator muzak”

At the next major town I was ordered by my manger to get out , rent a hire car and drive back home… I was not to proceed with the field trip.  What a fucking joke.

I hate Liberace even more than I did back then.
Last edited by sookwinder on Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by SPudnik » Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:34 pm

Sook - U no likey Liberace? WTF?  :D ::)
Yer manager sounds like a real piece o' work.

I've come to realize that I might as well keep my mouth shut,
rather than diss something that [to me] sucks in front of someone who's crazy about it...

Some of the General Business bands I play in do a few god-awful songs I can't stand. I don't say shit.

Not sure if this fits the criteria but when I was a kid the manager gave these dumbass handsigns
for a member to turn down - never up, and it got rediculous.
So one time I told the rhythm guitarist to turn off, and I did the same. The manager gave
the OK sign... We told him he didn't need us as we were turned off.
He lightened up after that.
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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by flatfiver » Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:27 am

1. I told a friend of mine once that I held Miles Davis and The Ramones in the same regard and I think he almost hit me.  He's a genius jazz sax player, so I guess I understand his feelings.

2. I had an ex-girlfriend who liked to listen to Enya when we she was in a "romantic" mood.  I can't stand that stuff.  We were getting into it one evening, of course the Enya was on, but eventually the CD ended.  Next in the player was a soundtrack that started with a (very loud & obnoxious) Blink 182 song.  I've never been a huge Blink fan, but it was such a jarring difference - it was kind of like "Take that, Enya!"  I felt I won a small victory that day.

3. My dad has a habit of asking questions and talking all the way through movies and plays and things.  We're sitting in the audience at a local high school musical production when he turns to me during a particularly painfully rendered solo and says way too loudly, "That kid's not very good, is he?"  I was dead sure that the kid's parents had to be sitting right behind us.
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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by mynameisjonas » Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:14 am

i got into an argument with my girlfriend and her mother a couple of weeks ago, over the swedish IDOL tv-show. you know how it works, all the talented singers are voted off early because they are too fat/ugly/old, or they have their own style which does not fit into the record company´s agenda.
so, we´re watching the show at my girlfriend´s parent´s house, and this one girl is exceptionally bad, flat/sharp every other note. i start laughing and making these" aaw/ouch/woa/sheesh" sounds everytime she´s out of tune (basically all the way through the song), and the following conversation takes place:

girlfriend: what´s wrong with you? 
me: she´s horribly out of tune.
girlfriend: well, i don´t think so.
me: she IS.
gf: you can´t tell me what to think!
me: i´m not, i´m saying she´s out of tune.
gf´s mother: i think that´s a rude thing to say, she´s doing her best.
me: i know she is. it´s not rude, it´s a fact.
gf: so you think you can do better?
me: maybe not.
gf´s mother: so how can you sit there and say she was out of tune?
me: cause she was out of tune..?

and so on...

::)

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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by chrisjedijane » Wed Nov 29, 2006 6:23 am

I know how you feel, jonas - the same thing happens to me pretty much any saturday night that I'm back at my folks' house!

I especially hate it when some "idol" hopeful sings some terrible over-acted, out of tune thing, the crowd goes mad, and the judges say "that was really good, your tuning was spot on! brilliant!"

AAARGHH!HH!!! it makes me mad!
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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by sookwinder » Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:36 pm

I suspect this is the same with every countries version of Idol (and btw the Aussie Idol is crap, complete bollocks), but when ever they sing a song, the relationship between the original melody and what the person sings appears to be zero.  It is almost like someone is using a whammy bar to control what notes they are singing.  Last year some female sang "We Can Work It Out" and even though I know the song backwards, I could not relate any of the melody she sang to what Lennon/McCartney wrote back in 1965.

Likewise I have had arguments with (ex) girl friends about how bad Idol is and how the $$$ spent on Idol should be used to encourage real singers and bands who are out there doing gig every night and writing their own songs.  The response was " ... I think you're jealous ..."

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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by Maggieo » Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:47 pm

You guys need to start dating smarter, better women. YIkes.  :-X
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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by sookwinder » Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:59 pm

Maggie, that is the bizarre nature of "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" ...  I do actually go for intellegent women, but it seems that if they are not musically inclined they do not "understand" that there is no relationship between Idol and real musicians who hone their skill night after night do gigs that barely pay the rent.

Mind you I do have another ex who is a medical specialist (gets paid 4 or 5 times what I do and is super smart) but as soon as any of these Idol, Survivor, worlds fatest, big brother  type shows come on the TV , suddenly her IQ seems to drop about 100 points and she thinks they are the best thing since sliced bread.  I can tell you when I was dating her I learnt to sleep with my eyes open and I was "expected" to sit with her while she watched these types of programmes...... wish I had those "Homer Simpson" glasses !!!
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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by Maggieo » Wed Nov 29, 2006 6:03 pm

The Idol broadcasts have nothing to do with music and everything to do with celebrity and I think it clouds the issue of their appeal to try to make it about music- it's about performance, appearance and charisma- not music.  People, even intelligent ones, are suckers for a good showman.
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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by mynameisjonas » Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:11 am

Maggieo wrote: You guys need to start dating smarter, better women. YIkes.  :-X
just for the record: my girlfriend is a wonderful, intelligent person. she just lets her empathy get the better of her when watching "idol", and her musical ear could be a bit better... ;D

oh, same thing goes for her mother.
Last edited by mynameisjonas on Sat Dec 02, 2006 2:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: your worst "give equal respect to John Coltrane and Kenny G" moments

Post by rabidhamster » Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:27 pm

I think people, girls mostly, are just trying to pick fights sometimes.  These stories all seem very familiar.  I turn it around on them, "no, how can YOU be so rude to tell me Im wrong when Im the musician and you obviously arent.  I cant sing, and I know it.  She cant sing and I know it.  Dont be a bitch!" >:(

Im single. :D

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